Monday, July 24, 2006

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord!


This is a gift. Let's be honest. My husband will be bald someday and I need know if I could actually love the bald in my guy. When the drain starting collecting gray curls a few years ago I realized it was coming. I thought it would be sooner rather than later...but things have slowed down a bit in the "fall out", so perhaps a merciful God has decided to make it later ratherthan sooner. I was preparing though. Trying to picture him without hair. Trying to imagine it. Feeling his head and all the bumps and ridges underneath his grey and wondering what that would look like. Trying to gauge whether the best idea might really be if my eyesight regressed with his hairline. I have considered wearing a baseball cap so that if I held my head just right, the bill of the cap would block the top of his head, but I could still see his handsome face. Or perhaps he should wear the cap. I know I can love the husband part, just don't know if I can love the bald part. ..................A bald guy moved in recently. Into our home. He too, wasn't completly bald when I met him. Thinning I would say, not completely bald at first. But weeks later, he really is. And you know, my feelings for him have actually grown as his hair has disappeared. I think it's partly the bald that makes him so lovable. Its the part I want to touch, the smoothness that I wrap my hand around and the last thing I kiss when he's tucked into bed. He is most beautiful when his bald is exposed, not hidden under a hat or blanket. When he is wrapped up tight, I want to unwrap him. His beanies don't fit him thank goodness, or I would be caught peeking under them to see the bald....................I miss the bald heads of my own three. It represented newness and innocence and a future. The teenage head shaving baldness isn't the same and I didn't like that at all. No, it has to be natural..........I suspect this little bald guy has paved the way for the old bald guy to come. If things go just right, there will be a few days when they are both bald together and then the younger whose hair begins to show will hand the baton to his grandpa whose bald is doing the same. Having boldly displayed his tiny bald head with confidence and a lack of self consciousness, he will have mentored his grandpa well.........So, be assured grandpa. This old grandma loves bald. If you could add a coo and smile at me, like the little one does, when I rub that bald head of yours, we'll be just fine.

5 comments:

Julie said...

totally poignant and for some reason totally made me cry!

i must say my daughter is quite in love with your little bald guy...kept talking about him last night after we saw you.

this is one of those times that i see God's sense of humor shine through....in getting your ready for bald Dan.....(although i'm sure Dan doesn't think it's toooo funny :)

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