Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Wrong little boy leaves for Colorado!

Dot is taking the Deeds to Colorado tomorrow...for A WHOLE WEEK! I used to think that family vacation was the best idea ever. Only now there is this other family and well, let's just say D and I have our suitcases packed because we are pretty sure they will be surprising us with our own plane tickets any moment now. So if you could just keep the calls to our house to a minimum for the next 24 hours you know just to keep the line free for the big surprise! Anyway, the freedom from the phone should give your family plenty of time to get used to the idea of adopting a DOG! (Yes I am yelling) Because "Mr. No-longer-cute" is now also known as "Mr. No-longer-sweet! either. I am not going to go so far as to actually post on the internet that I ran screaming after him "Bad Dog! Bad Dog!" Though I wouldn't blame someone who did, especially since it was me.
I decided to take yet another step in the "point of no return" path I am on in the kitchen makeover by choosing one cabinet to sand and primer and maybe even paint later today. I removed the doors yesterday, took them to the backyard and sanded them, but today I sanded the frame and painted one coat of primer on the cabinet after cleaning out the Deeds' finger paints and a couple of bottles of craft glue (remember this fact). So far so good. Then I thought through the idea of painting the doors outside for the heat and ventilation and decided the little "crew cut" pooch might brush up against them with the only hair he has left. So I brought them into the kitchen table and went to work with the primer. While waiting for them to dry, I went to the garage to work embroidery business and cut and number Beth Moore tickets, because 17 projects going at the same time is just how I roll. But within a few minutes I heard a disturbing sound coming from inside. Disturbing sound is code for "cabinet doors banging around on the table". MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!!!!!!! Disturbing sound is followed by many disturbing sights! In order.
First... dog footprints on the doors. Now forensics has yet to do a match, and the Mooch swears he has 4 paws and claims that with only 2 foot prints in the paint it could not have been him,

but he's only 5 in dog years and I remember the compulsion at that age to tell what ever self-preserving fibs necessary, well for...self preservation. Of course with the back log in all that CSI stuff, I'm not waiting for the results, a mother knows these things. In this house you are guilty until proven innocent! So...disturbing sight #2...RED fingerpaint container missing from table and found near the living room...not a room scheduled for makeover soon, but red would now be a really convenient choice for the tile and carpet. Honestly I thought plastic squeeze bottles for finger paints was such a good idea, except now that I see that the plastic can easily be penetrate by a canine's canines...not such a good idea. And lest we forget about the glue bottles, (yep plastic), or think that the family room was somehow left out of the disturbance...well, you get the picture. Though there was a propondrance (sp) of evidence on the plastics including some saliva DNA (I'm not paying for testing), the Mooch sat with his head cocked to one side and I sure he was saying "I know Mom, what a disaster, huh! How did this happen to us?" me.."yes, well maybe we need a guard dog, and I'm thinking one that doesn't HAVE A RED BEARD AND WHISKERS THAT ARE GLUED TOGETHER!!!" When he's done hiding from me, perhaps I will return him to the parlor where I am sure they will look at his "matted face" and ask if they should just trim up to his earlobes or something. Bottom line...I think the Deeds should stay here and the Mooch should hop on the next flight out of town, maybe Colorado!


Kristen Plum said...

OH NO! Man we sure will miss you this next week, Wish you were coming ;)

Britt said...

Oh dear! Crazy!

I wish you were joining us too! One of these days we'll get everyone out there. :)

Julie O said...

Really I'm not laughing at your chaos....but my goodness....I'm laughing at your chaos!!! I'm so sorry....ouch my cheeks....hahahaha....i mean....ummm, ya know what Mrs. P....(giggle)....how much comedic material would you have with out this side kick?....(giggle)