Thursday, September 24, 2009

Very possibly someone who gets me...

It is the desire of our hearts to be understood. I'm talking a soul mate type of connection that often reduces communication to a simple knowing nod or a look that speaks volumes.
I think that the phrase "I'm so busy" overused. Not that it is inaccurate, I mean, please, baby boomers were born in the fast lane and we cannot help but keep running just to stay up with old news. It has taken all my energy to learn things that are, by time I start to understand them, obsolete, which completely explains why the stereo system in the car keeps reading ERROR when I'm trying to listen to my Eagles 8 track.

Anyway, the world has evolved beyond us. Our kids are sailing along just fine, passing us by, without even a moment of tutorial. I think we deserve that. Please, we invented the world wide web for heaven's sake and paid for the first computer that brought that Inter-gem into their childhood home!

Anyway...back to being understood and the effort life takes to keep up. I am exhausted. I feel like every minute of everyday is booked for the next 17 years of my life. Not that 1926 promises anything calm, it's just that I am planning not to just slow down at age 65, but just be SLOW. I may run like the wind until then and hit that golden age like its a cement wall, but come what may, I plan to have hours everyday when I get to do absolutely nothing productive and simply begin to process the Post-Dramatic-Stress-Disorder that 65 years as a boomer has caused.

In the meantime, I just want someone to understand. I am trying as hard as I can. I am working as hard as I can. I say "yes" way too often and enjoy every minute of everything I say yes to, mostly. Its the thought of everything I am doing and trying to get the current thing finished up so I get to move on to the next fun thing.
Even as I write this, D has been sitting on the sofa next to me for 2+ hours, available and ready for bed "whenever you are". Every once in a while I try to explain to him how jealous I am that both of his jobs are "go, start, finish, leave" and don't thing about it again until the next time you "go, start, finish, leave". Jealous, I am and exhausted.

He tries so hard to be sympathetic and is really good at offering to help with whatever, which is great, but its not the same as someone really getting the weight of it all. Someone who understands why even my sleep position has changed to having one foot on the floor ready to jump at the 2nd, 3rd or 4th light of day.

Then today...I found him. My soul mate, the one other soul on this planet that knows what it feels like to be on the ready even when it looks like we are resting. Oh the weight of a life filled with responsibility...lucky for you, I had my camera to capture both the one who understands and proof that true rest for the few of us never really comes...

Trust me when I tell you that his eyes are closed...sound asleep with his paws on the fence, just in case he needs to spring to his feet at any urgency. So much in common, so much understanding. I did crop out the things we do not have in common. You're welcome.

Finally...understanding...exhausted understanding. ahhh, the Mooch!

PS. I love my new map gadget, but I am undone with intrigue over the dots out of So Ca. Please take a sec and comment with a sign in. A Gmail ID is pretty easy and I'd love to know who you are and where you are from.

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